2011...I'm ready

Happy 2011!!! I can’t believe we’re starting a new year already!!! Where did 2010 go?? We had an amazing 2010 and I’ve been full of thinking here recently…this time of year does it to me….so I thought this would be a good place to maybe try to organize my thoughts.

I took just 6 weeks to recover with all 3 boys before going back to work, but for some reason this time it was a lot harder. I came to the realization this week that if I had taken the “normal 12 weeks” I’d still be off. It makes me kind of sad to think about…especially since I had to sleep all Christmas day. I’ve been back to work for a while now and still am trying to adjust to the night/day thing. I’ve been working nights for seven years but I’m not sure how much more I can take. The schedule is glorious for wanting to do things with the boys during the week and we love our “lazy days”. But going to church and doing things on weekends is really hard. It’s also hard to switch back and forth between days and nights. I’m having trouble sleeping and I can’t do a lot of the things I want to do…which brings me to what is coming up in 2011 for me!!!!

Last year I blogged about my one little word…Focus. I didn’t elaborate on it too much but this year I’m hoping to be more involved with it. Blogger/scrapbooker Ali Edwards coined the phrase one little word (http://aliedwards.com/2010/12/one-little-word-2011.html) and has led people on a journey since 2007. I decided on my word for this year to be BRAVE. On Ali’s blog she shows a photo that has scribbled “one little word can make a big impact on your life.”

As I pondered and prayed over my word for 2011 Nicole Nordeman’s song “Brave” kept popping into my head.
The chorus to the song goes like this:
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave

Ever since having Jake, I seem to be paralyzed with fear….I’m afraid to go out with more than 1 kid. I’m not at all as strong as I used to be (I feel like I used to be pretty independent). Well, as I’m taking on new challenges this year, I know I’ll need to be BRAVE. I done with just merely surviving. I want to succeed at life. I want to be bold and grow in my faith. I want to be an excellent mother. I want to be healthy!!!

A big scary goal I’ve bitten off for the beginning of this year is to read the Bible in 90 days (www.biblein90days.org) !!!! I read about it from a few bloggers: Jolanthe (www.noordinarymomentsblog.com) Kelleigh (http://kelleighratzlaff.com) last fall and I wanted to do it so bad, but I knew I was due with Cole in the middle of it and I was afraid I’d fail. I’ve been praying about it and I’ve committed to it and we start January 3rd!!!! I’ll be reading with a group of readers from Mom’s Toolbox (www.momstoolbox.com/blog) and hopefully blogging some about this journey here. However, my main focus is to do the reading!! I encourage you to check it out if you’re interested!!! I got the 90 day Bible for Christmas and I also downloaded the kindle version on my iPod touch. I’m praying so hard that I can complete this!!! However, I know my spiritual life needs a boost. To be honest it’s been really hard to get to church over the last year. With the pregnancy fatigue and the boys seeming to always having colds (even right now they’re snotty) it’s really hard to get there. And I know my faith life has taken a back seat. I’m ready to put Jesus back in the driver seat. I know all areas of my life are affected by my faith and as that strengthens I hope all the other areas are strengthened as well.

Which leads me to my next challenge….I alluded to it a few weeks ago. I woke up on the day Cole turned 2 months old and decided it was time to lose weight. I had been noticing on another scrapbooker’s blog her desire to get healthy over 2010. It was a simple concept, move more, eat less. She had started on Weight watchers and then tried to do it on her own before returning to ww at the end of the year. That morning I had read her blog and she had been talking about coming back to ww and starting the new program (points+). I went that morning and I’m loving it!!! I love the new points+ program and have lost weight on it!! I continue to be inspired by Cathy and am using some of her ideas to track my own journey. She summarized her 2010 here (http://cathyzielske.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/12/a-year-of-moving-more-and-eating-less-in-scrapbook-pages.html) and I hope I can have her kind of success in 2011. It’s hard to be healthy. Its expensive, it takes planning and takes time. I’ll admit every Tuesday am I’m afraid when I step on that scale, fearing that I’ve slipped up or not tracked right. But I have to be brave and trust myself and know that I can succeed.

Another song that has been on my mind is Britney Spear’s “Stronger” (I prefer Glee’s version) but its another source of encouragement for me. It goes along with the whole theme of Move More Eat Less (http://cathyzielske.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/12/move-more-eat-less-2011an-invitation-to-you.html) and is part of my minds “soundtrack” if you will. While my “moving more” hasn’t exactly kicked into gear it will. I know I’m strong enough and I deserve it!!!

We’re starting this week with the boys (www.the-e-kids.blogspot.com) doing some regular activities and creating a routine. Maybe it’s just the winter blahs but we’re all going stir crazy. The boys seem to be running laps around us. I think Max has been testing his limits with us and I honestly thinks (and Jason is actually the one who came up with it…) that he needs some one on one attention. I could use some routine and consistency in our days. I’ve been inspired by Carisa (www.1plus1plus1equals1.blogspot.com), Jolanthe from above but at (http://homeschoolcreations.blogspot.com) and Erica (www.confessionsofahomeschooler.blogspot.com) with some ideas for “home preschool” of sorts. I just want some time to focus on my boys, love on them, do crafts with them, and teach them. I’ll be using a combo of ideas from these amazing gals and others to focus on letters, numbers, colors and bible verses. I’ll be documenting that on their blog (and hopefully post more pictures of them there too!!!).

Overall, 2010 was a hard year. I got in a rut. I mentioned the paralyzing fear…I also got lazy. I got comfortable in my own bed (literally) and have blamed my laziness on anything I can…and while those things are legitimate (3 kids in 3 years, full time night shift, etc) it’s time to get my act together. Max is 3…3!!!! I feel like I’ve been napping these last 3 years and I want to remember the little things about this time instead of sleeping through it!! I read a quote on a mothering message board that said this, “the days are long but the years are short.” It’s so true. I find myself sometimes wishing the days would go by faster and I don’t want to do that anymore. Sure it’s tough having 3 young kids but other people have done it and survived!! I have a wonderful support system (hello…Jason is ah-mazing with the boys!!!). My family and inlaws are so helpful!!! I need to buck up and be BRAVE and face each day with the strength God has given me.

For a few months now I’ve been saying 2011 is the year of No Excuses….There is no reason I’m so tired, overweight and unmotivated. It’s time for things to change. It’s time for my house to be cleaned, our debt to be paid off, to get healthy, and to love life!!! Whew- that was a lot to type and thank you if you’re still reading. Mainly this is (like everything I type on this blog) for myself…for my own enjoyment….to record my own journey. It’s nice to look back and see patterns in my posting and remember what I’ve gone through. I often get very excited about my next new thing then end up letting my depression/anxiety/laziness take over and it’s done as quick as it starts. I hope to change that this year…and I hope journaling/blogging about it helps me get through it. If you’re joining me on the journey- please leave me a comment and we can share through this together.

I know it won’t be easy, but I’m ready. I’m BRAVE.

**I typed this from an email at work so the formatting is all wonky and the hyperlinks are old school & not hidden- if they don't work do it the old fashion way and cut & paste....sorry, I wanted to get this out of my mind and written down so I didn't want to wait until I had time to do it**